Monday, May 25, 2009

Mom --

I'm bringing you flowers tomorrow. Well, not to you - to your "resting place." They're sitting in a vase right now, blooming nicely - waiting for me to tie a ribbon around the elegant stems for when I take them with me. I'll put them on your headstone and think about you for a moment. Maybe I'll tell Kristofor a memory - my memories of you are few, so each is a treasure to be savored.

The flowers are pink. They remind me of Grandma. They remind me of you. They remind me of the nightgown I have that was yours. It is a similar pink - darker, maybe. I wear the nightgown often. Silky and long, it makes me feel like a little girl. I wonder how you liked it - did you wear it reguarly to bed, or for Dad? There are many things I wonder about you . . .

As it is right now, I feel like when we meet again I'll be shy. I don't you know nearly as well as you know me, a thought which is a little strange. I worry about being weird around you - if you don't know, I can be very awkward at times. . . Worries aside, you're my mother and so our reunion will be a happy one. And though death isn't something I look forward to, it's made a little less daunting when paired with the fact that when I go, we will be connected again.

Love always,

Your daughter

Thursday, May 14, 2009

my new motto.

"I am thankful for my nice apartment."
Every time I get house envy I need to repeat this to myself: "I am thankful for my nice apartment"
Kristofor and I have been married for nearly 2 years and it feels like we're getting left in the dust! Like everyone around us is either having a baby, buying a house, or both. A girl I work with *just* got married and she and her husband are already going to buy a house..! Kristofor's cousin (who is his same age) and his wife are expecting, and they've been married for less time than we have!
I'm thankful for my nice apartment - I really am. It's homey. And renting has it's perks. I get the benefits of living in a house without having to worry about mowing the lawn or paying for repairs. But . . . a house would be so lovely.
I'm thankful . . .
And I really am not in a huge rush to have babies. I enjoy this time I get with myself and my husband. But . . . it would be nice to be in a position where if I were to get pregnant it would be a happy thing - not a "oh crap we can't afford anything, we'll have to move, where will we live" thing.
I just feel like we should be farther along than we are. And I so look forward to being a mother.
And painting some walls. =)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

the cake and the photo

For Kristofor's Birthday I made him the best cake ever . . . if I do say so myself. I made everything from scratch and it actually all worked out - I'm so glad! I've never made a 2-layer cake before, and never iced anything but sugar cookies. So here it is.

Yep! That's Kristofor in the middle holding hands with Spongebob and a Ninja Turtle. And a big fat rainbow. I thought it was pretty funny. Especially considering Kristofor LOVES making jokes.
Yep, that's him. My sweet, funny, wacko husband. This is what he wore for family pictures. He and his brothers thought it would be funny to show up wearing ugly suits so they went to the D.I. and found some. (I don't think this is that ugly).

They brought their 'real' suits with them because they figured their mom would be pretty mad and make them change - but everyone laughed, Amber thought they looked good, so they ended wearing them for the actual pictures! The pictures turned out really well. See them here:

Monday, May 4, 2009

for wileigh

The pictures suck, but here is my "fabric wallpaper." I drew the design on paper I had taped to the wall, cut out the paper and traced it onto the fabric. I cut the fabric out and sprayed it with liquid starch (a bottle is not even $2), put it on the wall, smoothed it out, let it dry, then wiped the wall off around the fabric.


It sticks enough to stay put but comes off SUPER easily.