Monday, May 25, 2009

Mom --

I'm bringing you flowers tomorrow. Well, not to you - to your "resting place." They're sitting in a vase right now, blooming nicely - waiting for me to tie a ribbon around the elegant stems for when I take them with me. I'll put them on your headstone and think about you for a moment. Maybe I'll tell Kristofor a memory - my memories of you are few, so each is a treasure to be savored.

The flowers are pink. They remind me of Grandma. They remind me of you. They remind me of the nightgown I have that was yours. It is a similar pink - darker, maybe. I wear the nightgown often. Silky and long, it makes me feel like a little girl. I wonder how you liked it - did you wear it reguarly to bed, or for Dad? There are many things I wonder about you . . .

As it is right now, I feel like when we meet again I'll be shy. I don't you know nearly as well as you know me, a thought which is a little strange. I worry about being weird around you - if you don't know, I can be very awkward at times. . . Worries aside, you're my mother and so our reunion will be a happy one. And though death isn't something I look forward to, it's made a little less daunting when paired with the fact that when I go, we will be connected again.

Love always,

Your daughter

1 comment:

Brein said...

Oh Bear! Momma loved you so much! I think of all the time I have had with James. You were his age when she died. I think of all the love I have for him and all the love she had for you. She adored you, I remember very well. And when you see her it won't be awkward. She won't let it be. She was a hard person to feel awkward around. Also she probably won't stop hugging and kissing you for a good hour or 2. So I'm sure that will break the ice. ;) I love you! It makes me happy for mom that you still remember her and love her!