dill emma

Whoever said that blonde hair is hard to maintain was a liar. 

A few months ago I dyed my hair brown and I LOVE it. Except the upkeep part. My blonde roots grow in and it makes me look like I'm balding. In order to stay on top of my regrowth, I have to get my hair dyed every month.. except I'm too lazy to actually do that. 

I like being brunette because it makes me look more like my mom. 

But I want to settle down with my hair. I feel like a teenager, still experimenting and trying to "find" myself - or at least, my best hair color. I've spent the past 45 minutes looking through old pictures, trying to decide if I look better blonde or brunette. Hmmm..

I'll probably decide 5 minutes before my appointment. 

 

Any input? 

ce ne me derange pas

I miss my little brother, Joseph. I know he probably doesn't miss me very much, considering he's in Thailand having the adventure of a lifetime. 

But he was always someone I could talk to about anything, and he'd give me his honest opinion about what was going on - even if it was "Aariel, you're crazy."

I have plenty of close friends and family members I can talk to, but it's not the same as talking to Joe.

And right now, I really wish he was here to tell me what to do. Or to tell me to stop worrying about things.  Or to be my ally and help me feel a little less alone. 

 I made him pose for this picture by my car before we went to the store together. 

This, on the other hand, was totally unposed - you can tell, he's in mid-sentence. Awesome.

oh, this old thing?

Now that the semester's finally over and I have some free time, I figure I should update the ol' blog. 

I'm done with my hour-long commute to the hospital for my student hours for a whole month! I miss the people, but not the drive. Plus, the break will be over before I know it and I'll be at it again for another (last) semester. I can't believe I'll be done with the program this Spring! I've loved being a student, but will really love getting my Rad Tech certification and - hopefully - getting a job somewhere down the line. I've decided to apply to the Bachelor's program (Advanced Radiologic Sciences, to be exact), without specializing in any other modality. I might change my mind later, but for now it's just good old X-ray. 

Kristofor had a long weekend off work for Thanksgiving and it was so nice to be able to relax, sleep in, shop, etc. together. We went to his parent's for Thanksgiving this year and it was lovely as usual. 

Here are some pictures from the iTouch, as well as a couple from a 'photoshoot' I did with Kelso today. I hijacked my sisters fun camera and snapped away.. seriously, I want a fun camera like hers one day. 

more pictures of my dog - surprise surprise!

I want to thank those of you who gave your thoughts (both on and off the blog) regarding my last post. I still feel a bit overwhelmed, but I think I have a plan forming in my head about what I want to happen in the future.  =) 

And now, some funny pictures of my fur baby (did I just say that?) at Bear Lake. I went a few weeks ago with my sister Brein (more pics on her blog). It was so much fun! Someday when I'm old and rich I'll buy a canoe and a cabin up there and be happy for the rest of my life. 

 I seriously want to get him a life jacket so he can learn to swim. How awesome would that be?

 Me and my niece London.. not sure what we're doing.

Sooooo messy! You can't even tell from this picture just how dirty he was. He loved it.

 

"my brain is scrambled"

I was initially going to write this in my journal, but I'm too lazy to actually hand write all my thoughts down - it takes too long. I just need to get it all out there for the universe, or my sanity, or something. 

This is WAY too long, and too boring, and maybe too personal, I don't know. So feel free to look at the cute picture of Kelso, skip reading this one, and look forward to my next post. =)

I could try telling all my worries to this guy..

But something tells me he'd just try to cheer me up by biting my hair.

I've been pretty discouraged today. I have this problem of comparing myself to others (ie. classmates), which of course gets me down. I feel like I'm so far behind everyone.

So, I'm going to school to become an x-ray tech. And I love it. LOVE! The hospital I do my clinicals at is amazing (although the hour long commute sucks), the people there rock, I like interacting with patients and feeling like I'm helping people. BUT: The job market is completely flooded with qualified x-ray techs looking for jobs. I'd love to get a job after I graduate this spring, but the reality is that there aren't many to be had. Another thing that makes it hard is that one of the main hospital groups of the state is a "hire from within" type of place, so they open a position internally before they open it externally - meaning if you aren't employed with this hospital group (even if it's just as a janitor), it's going to be hard to get in, especially in x-ray. 

I've applied to a few different positions with this 'hospital group' - and had a few rejections. The clinical hours I have to do make it hard to get a job that will work with my schedule. So... I'm pretty much just trying to 'get in' with this corporation so that if an x-ray job ever opens up internally I'll be able to at least see it and apply for it. Even then, the competition for x-ray jobs is fierce - and while I like competition in board games, I don't like it in the real world because, to me, it feels like fighting over something. And I don't like conflict and back down too easily. 

The thing with x-ray is that it only gets you an Associates Degree. So if I want my bachelor's, I have to apply to specialize in a different modality (ie. CT, MRI, ultrasound), get accepted, do clinicals in that modality for another few semesters and of course, do the schoolwork. If I were to get a full time - heck, even part time - job as an x-ray tech, I could probably be happy doing that for the rest of my life. I like x-ray and am not super interested in doing a different modality. BUT! If I have my license to do x-ray, and I specialize in something else, that will make me more marketable and better able to compete against other job-hungry peeps. 

The thing is, if I decide to specialize, I have to have my application in at the beginning of the year, which is pretty soon.

When we first got married, actually starting our family seemed far far away. I wanted to go to college, Kristofor was still working on college, we just weren't ready for babies. And honestly, still aren't. One of the reasons for this is financial. Of course, that's not all of it, but feeling secure in a career or job would be awesome. But I'm getting old, dang it! ;) (22 feels old). Seriously though, I don't want to wait forever to become a mother. 

So thinking and talking about it today... I'm a bit lost. Because if I specialize, that probably means starting our family is even further away. But if I don't specialize and don't get a job.. then what? Or if I specialize and still don't get a job?? It all feels so complicated.. 

And when I compare mine and Kristofor's situations to everyone else who's gone through the same type of thing, I feel like we're so unlucky. Seriously, it's taken Kristofor for-ev-ver to make progress with school, and I've been going to college for 4 years and all I have to show for it is a general Associates degree, and soon to be another Associate degree in x-ray.. I just feel so unaccomplished. And like I'll never be able to compete with anyone.

Blah.

I just want some security. I wish someone could tell me what to do. And lately I just can't stop thinking about my future babies. I feel like they are pulling at me somehow... You don't actually have to have kids to feel parental guilt, right? 

This is probably my worst post ever. Maybe next time will be better. Maybe. 

aww, man!

I was really slightly bummed today. See, there was this concert I really wanted to go to, but it sold out early.. I should have known.

So instead I took this little guy for a walk, let him play in the sprinkler, and went on a "date" with Kristofferson to Wendy's and Best Buy... romantic, yes?

still slightly wet from the sprinkler

drool worthy

My favorite etsy shops lately:

amerrymishap

I so want a pair of earrings from this cute shop - I'm tempted to buy some right now...

Lepidoptery

Colorful jewelry made from cardstock? Yes, please. 

Verabel 

I bought the same locket as the one below as a reward for myself for losing a bit of weight a while back (yes, I needed the motivation). I wear it all the time - probably too often, but I love it too much. 

boring, really

Am I the only one who sometimes has a hard time enjoying vacations because you're constantly counting down the time you have left until you leave? I hate that I do it. Summer vacation is no exception. It's been so lovely, but that clock is always ticking in the back of my mind.  

 Pretty much all I do all day is play with the boy and eat lots of popsicles. I've been obsessed with the good old fashioned twin pops: cherry, banana and root beer flavored, of course. I buy them as often as I buy bread and milk.. it's pretty sad.

Someone wasn't in the mood for posing nicely - he obviously doesn't understand the importance of a mother and son portrait. 

Right now Kristofor and my brother Michael are downstairs "jamming out" - playing the drums and guitar together.. cute. And I'm sitting in my bedroom eating a root beer popsicle, looking at cute nursery's on ohdeedoh. 

I love lazy summers.

^_^

(almost) brand new addition

Remember that one post? The one where I said I was going to wait until I got a house until I would try to con Kristofor into letting us getting a dog?

I totally lied.

Meet Kelso! We call him "our son," because he really is our first baby. We've had him for 4 weeks now (sheesh, I haven't posted in forever! It's because I feel like I have to post the rest of our cruise, including editing and choosing and linking the pictures and whatnot, and that's just not any fun!) Anyway, he's taken over our lives - and our hearts (ahaha, had to insert that cheesiness).

He's a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, the breed Kristofor and I researched and decided on. I flip flopped around for a while, wanting about every breed in the spectrum - Cocker & Brittany Spaniels, Boxer, Bernese Mountain Dog (too spendy!), Boston Terrier, Pug, Sheltie, Poodle . . . pretty much everything except toy and large breeds. I'm so happy we chose the breed we did!

He runs my life right now, and I love it. Selfishly, I love being needed. I don't mind the demands as much as I thought I would - the waking up in the middle of the night type of stuff. Maybe I won't make a terrible mother when I have children after all.

My favorite is when Kristofor says to him "Hi, cutie!" and "Can I get a kiss? Give me a kiss!" And makes smoochy noises until Kelso licks his face (or bites his beard). Seriously? It's the cutest thing ever. Unless you think puppies licking your face is gross, but I guess we don't? He doesn't eat his own poop, and can't reach his bum to lick it, so... Wait is that TMI? Probably.

Anyway, we are smitten. Even though he's a stinker and ripped my pants today. And tries to sneak into the garden to eat the strawberries (which I accidentally taught him.. woops), and won't stop biting my fingers when we play.

How could you not love that face?

part deux

Here is our day spent on Catalina Island - it was gorgeous and charming and the houses were to die for and so was the ice cream! We rented a golf cart ("island limo") which was so much fun! We actually spent most of the time walking and wandering through the streets and the docks. It was so lovely. And lemme tell you - when I become a millionaire, I'm buying a condo here.

p.s. I'm becoming obsessed with some retro photo effects, in case you can't tell. Too much? Probably. But I love the look too much to care!


































And us at the formal night dinner. My favorite food of the whole cruise was served this night - it was called strawberry bisque, but it was pretty much just strawberries, whipping cream, and sour cream pureed into pure cold deliciousness. I ordered more than one... it was heavenly. I should have taken a picture! (Surprisingly, I didn't take any pictures of food the whole time we were on the cruise - despite the fact that we spent 50% of the time stuffing our faces. What's up with that?)